One reason to stay alive

Today’s post was supposed to be ’10 reasons to stay alive’. However since it’s mental health awareness week and I’m a MH blogger I feel like I can be honest and say that I’m having a really tough time today. Sometimes life doesn’t go the way you want it to and the pain seeps into your soul until you forget what it felt like before. You’d do anything to get rid of that feeling and sometimes death can seem like a viable option to setting yourself free.

I’m here to tell you, from the depths of that pit, that death is not a good choice. I am hurting now, and I’m fighting with you which probably should make this advice all the more reliable. I fully believe, from previous experience and ignoring my current feelings, that life will get better.

I’ve been in pain before and I’ve felt joy after. I remember feeling so grateful for those people who called 999 and those doctors who made me drink charcoal to stop me poisoning myself beyond repair. I was so so so glad that I’d failed to kill myself, and so excited to be alive. Just because life is tough right now, doesn’t mean that I won’t get back to that place… in fact I’m pretty certain that I will!

So take it from me, someone who’s been where you are and I’m pretty low right now…. death is not a good option. Death steals the joy that’s waiting in your future. Death steals hope. Death steals you away from those who love you.

Please choose a different option. ❤

 

If you need more help please call your local crisis team, 111, or Samaritans.

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A letter to loved ones

Thank you for supporting us.

Sometimes it may seem like we aren’t grateful for your help, but I promise you that we are… or will be when we’re in a better place. With you by our side we can fight through everything that life throws at us. You are our shield, our sword, the soldier at our right hand in battle. You enable us to feel more brave and stronger than we are by ourselves. Without you our progress would probably be slower and more difficult than it already is.

We’re sorry for all the times that we take our emotions out on you. We do our best not to hurt you and to keep them under control but it’s really hard! We know that it can take it’s toll on you and that it hurts and we’re sorry for all of the times that we’ve caused you pain.

Although we may not show it, we love you. We love you even when we shout at you. We love you even when we push you away. When we hold on to you and refuse to let you leave, it’s because we love you. Thank you for your patience.

You may not understand our illness but we’re so grateful that you’ve taken the time to listen to us anyway. You may not know it, but we notice when you take the time to find out a little more.

We notice when you take time out of your day to make us feel special.

We notice when you care enough to check up on us.

Although you may not get much out of us now, when we get better you’ll be the first one invited for a drink to celebrate. You’ll be credited in our articles, books and blogs about our recovery. You’ll be the one we tell our doctors, nurses and counsellors about.

And one day when you’re feeling down, we’ll be the first one there to help.