At university it can be tempting to adopt a new persona to slot you in with the most exciting friends. To go to parties you hate, pretend you know more than you do about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, suddenly fall in love with Ryan Gosling’s movies or build a passion for saving stranded puppies.
Before you close this thinking that I’m a loser… Oh wait! I don’t need to pretend. I may not have done these exact things, but when I first went to uni I definitely crafted a version of myself especially for the making of friends.
We want to be sexier, more mysterious, richer, cooler, funnier, smarter (but not too smart). It’s human nature that we want to fit in and make friend so, and when you’re joining a uni and know nobody it really is easy to blend in with people you meet. I did this until I was a shadow of myself and almost forgot who I was in the first place.
I’m doing it differently this time. You may have already realised this but I’ll say it anyway, the best friends you’ll make are those who want to be friends with the real you. I joined a board game society, creative writing society and answer questions in seminars. You don’t need to hide what you’re good at or spend time doing things you don’t really enjoy in order to make lasting friendships!
This time around I’m not pretending to like things, dumbing myself down or acting differently than I would at home and it’s been much more enjoyable than my first attempt.
So don’t be cool, just be yourself!